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Deadlands Season Two: Botchamania
by invisible_fool (invisible_fool)
at April 15th, 2012 (07:20 pm)

The continuing cast-
EDDIE: Magic troll zombie who hits things.
CASSIE: THE LAW Pinkerton who is not any sort of law.
CARRIE: Buddhist lesbian nurse.
CHARLOTTE: Sulky teenage nekkid gunslinger.
HERBERT: Captain Plot British!
and RAJ: Faithful and long-suffering lover manservant of Herbert.

(CHARLOTTE draws a black chip)
CARRIE OOC: If you wake us up with a heart attack again, there's gonna be trouble.

CARRIE OOC: I haven't eaten yet, have I?
GM: I have no idea.
CARRIE OOC: I mean in character.

GM: I'm going to beat you like a three-headed red-headed stepchild.

CARRIE: He was the guy in, what's the place... Texas. No, the other one – Mexico.

EDDIE OOC: I found his address in the underwear drawer-
HERBERT OOC: What were you doing in someone's underwear drawer?
EDDIE OOC: I rolled the highest Search score.

EDDIE OOC: ...because dripping black ichor in front of the Fun Gestapo leads to death.

GM as HERBERT: Eddie, bad show killing a kid. Here's a delicious animal to eat!
CASSIE OOC: Don't encourage him!

EDDIE: The only reason for me to be interested in eating corpse is if it has live maggots!

(CASSIE rolls her Night Terrors check and botches by rolling two 1's on three dice)
CASSIE OOC: The other die is a 12! That's not fair!

CHARLOTTE OOC: Cassie, Herbert will start groping you if you don't get up.

GM: What, so you want that for your nightmares?
CASSIE OOC: ...Raj buggering Herbert?
HERBERT OOC: For the empire!

(Jake's rat reappears)
GM OOC: Charlotte, do not stick a rat in your crotch and turn it on. Stop sexually pleasuring yourself with a rat in the game.

HERBERT OOC: Which is the best hotel?
GM: Tell me how you know which is best.
HERBERT OOC: I'm British.

CHARLOTTE (on Carrie's alleged lesbianism) OOC: Can't sleep, Carrie will eat me... 

CASSIE OOC: That hit me in the boob.

CARRIE: To be fair, not all of us are very terrifyin'. I'm not very terrifyin', (points at Charlotte) you're not very terrifyin' (looks at Herbert) ... you're too British to be terrifyin'.

GM: Getting Charlotte naked in an alleyway?
EDDIE OOC: That has never been the PLAN. That just HAPPENS.

RAJ: I'm not comfortable with Miss Cooper imagining me in a dress.

EDDIE: Bein' illiterate is nothin' to be embarrassed about.
CASSIE OOC: Is it... Carrie?

(the party has, thirty seconds prior, been reminded we're looking for a D. Terrius)
HERBERT: I'm looking for a Mr. Pretorious?

(three minutes later)
CARRIE: I'm lookin' fer a Mr... what's his name?

(CARRIE is wrestling with a speech impediment type sweet)
CASSIE OOC: No, no, go back to the part where you mentioned bananas.

CASSIE, to EDDIE: We're dead. Well, I'm dead. You're more dead.

(More debate over what Carrie had said, the sentence was “I can fix you.”)
CASSIE OOC: I heard fish.

EDDIE OOC: Anyone who thinks the party should be replaced with a completely different, better party, raise your hands.
(the vote is unanimous)

GM: ...Because Charlotte 'Botch' Cooper over there...

GM: How do you know this ISN'T Charlotte's black chip?
CASSIE OOC: I'm pretty sure they can't make you botch in real life.

HERBERT: Have I mentioned I love my manservant?

HERBERT: I've got her legs, man, do whatever you want.

CASSIE: I'm not your sovereign!

CARRIE: We'll take him back and get him to breathe on you, then you'll understand.

EDDIE OOC: Anyone else think Herbert might be abducted?
CARRIE OOC: It would make a nice change.

CHARLOTTE: Think it's because he's British. If he sees anything he's gotta take it.

EDDIE OOC: I am so angry at this my accent is going Southern!

CARRIE OOC: I'm being his moral guide. Compass. His moral stick.

EDDIE OOC: See, at this point the main thing that's stopping me just setting this place on fire with the Harrowed in it is that Gwendolyn did it last session, showcasing it as a bad idea.

HERBERT OOC: Yes, feel my plot.
(The plot is his penis.)

CASSIE OOC: I always quite liked the plot.

CASSIE OOC, to CHARLOTTE: So it's just a toss up whether it's you or me who gets kidnapped, huh? Personally I'm hoping it's me because with you it's getting old.

CASSIE: Yeah, I think I'll balance the drink out with more drink, please.


EDDIE OOC: Wow, Cassie really wants Herbert's plot.

CASSIE OOC: This is like the best thing you could've gotten in your mouth at this point.

CASSIE OOC: Why am I talkin' to the hand again?
EDDIE & HERBERT OOC: 'Cause the face ain't list'nin'!

CASSIE OOC: Sooner or later all hands are fuckin' hands.


HERBERT: She has very strange priorities. She's a Buddhist.

EDDIE OOC: It's not breaking the law, he's rich!

EDDIE: You say mistake, we say Tuesday.

HERBERT: That is appealing to my better, gentlemanly nature. That is fiendish.

HERBERT: How long did I say you were barred from my supplies of Horlicks and cocoa?

GM: But where would you get your regular information from?
CASSIE OOC (points to EDDIE and HERBERT): Him and his fist, and him and his dosh.
CARRIE OOC: My grandma shows up occasionally.

CHARLOTTE OOC: She had me on speed earlier.
CARRIE OOC: I've taken you off that.

(Cassie shoots herself in the head via ricochet... and finally get good damage)


(Party are trapped in cupboards and cellars)
CASSIE OOC: It's finally time for Carrie Glau to come out of the closet!

EDDIE OOC: Anyone else think we should put Charlotte down to put her out of her misery?
(the vote is again unanimous)

EDDIE OOC: Yeah, but I'm a much, much sexier corpse.
GM: Skeptical looks from everyone.

EDDIE: You remember that world where the first time you got in you came in naked?
CARRIE: How? I haven't smoked anythin'!

CASSIE: Does this mean your body is out there walkin' around?
EDDIE: I got no way of knowin', but you might wanna get out fast. I was kinda peckish.

CARRIE: I've never been so happy to have no fighting skills.

(Carrie blinds Eddie)
CARRIE: Eddie, what are you doing?
EDDIE: I had a a plan! Where are you?
CARRIE: I'm not telling you.

(Cassie is sneaking up behind a monster)
CARRIE: YEAH? … Oh fuck!

EDDIE OOC (Deadpan): Yeah, but the difference is that Charlotte's parents deserved it.

(Carrie has just taken three levels' damage everywhere due to her bones trying to leave her body)
EDDIE: All in favour of letting Carrie rest after this?
(the vote features everyone but Carrie agreeing)

CARRIE OOC: My character sheet looks pretty now.

(Eddie and Cassie try to give Carrie advice)
CASSIE: Blind it! Blind it!
EDDIE: It might not like the light!

(Monster throws Charlotte at Cassie)
CARRIE OOC: Charlotte to the FACE!

(Herbert decides to stop playing dead and sits up)
HERBERT OOC (seeing the monster): ...and I finally get to make a Guts roll, don't I?

EDDIE OOC: Clap your hands if you believe in Cassie's Vigor roll!
CASSIE (to Herbert): Clap, dammit.


Posted by: invisible_fool (invisible_fool)
Posted at: April 16th, 2012 03:35 am (UTC)

No, there was definitely an "oh fuck" in there somewhere.

Posted by: evilbilbo (evilbilbo)
Posted at: April 16th, 2012 07:25 am (UTC)

The first one? Yes there was, but it was more the name I was talking about :p

Or do you mean Charlotte?
If so I can't recall but it would be about the first time she's sworn.

Posted by: bodybag_pilgrim (bodybag_pilgrim)
Posted at: April 16th, 2012 01:32 pm (UTC)

No, she did the full "Oh, fuck," before covering her mouth.

Posted by: evilbilbo (evilbilbo)
Posted at: April 16th, 2012 11:46 pm (UTC)

True, but I refuse to type it :p

Posted by: invisible_fool (invisible_fool)
Posted at: April 17th, 2012 02:48 am (UTC)

WTF are you talking about?

Posted by: evilbilbo (evilbilbo)
Posted at: April 17th, 2012 04:41 pm (UTC)

I refuse to type swear words :p

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