The Cast-CARRIE: Libido-less Buddhist nurse.CASSIE: The Pinky.EDDIE: The Brain.HERBERT: Man with a mantlepiece.CHARLOTTE: Girl with interesting dreams.CARRIE OOC (to GM): You'd give me one eventually, but not right away.(On designating a 'safe word' for the session)GM: This is for me to use, too.CASSIE: Eddie, I can see, but less than usual.CASSIE OOC: He called me fat, Eddie.EDDIE OOC: Yeah, I read the quote. Why is he still alive? Are you saving him for me?CASSIE OOC: SHH! Don't spoil your Christmas present!CASSIE OOC: It doesn't say anything about lesbianism.EDDIE OOC: It's like Queen Victoria that way.CARRIE: Charlotte, open your top two buttons.CHARLOTTE: Why?CARRIE: Just trust me.(On an unrelated incident)CASSIE OOC: You were stroking your boobs with oil!GM: I'm with [Innocent Bystander]. Her boobs are irrelevant.CASSIE OOC [to Herbert]: Go and fuck your pizza. The GM says so.GM: Got crocodiles bigger'n me.CARRIE: That's... not what we're lookin' for.CASSIE: I trust you guys because I don't trust you on your own.EDDIE: Then why have we sent Carrie and Charlotte off?CASSIE: Because... because shut up.EDDIE: One thing I have always admired, Cass, is your logic.CARRIE [to Charlotte]: When we get there, you're the one who has to say we're lookin' for a bird. I ain't gonna lie.HERBERT: But Saul, you say, is a madman.CASSIE: We're not in any position to judge.CASSIE: Oh, just set fire to it.GM: He is, however, wearing the inappropriate old-man braces. Like Herbert.EDDIE OOC: LLAMA!EDDIE OOC: I called dibs on this party a loooong time ago.CARRIE: He likes stuffin' things an' puttin' 'em on his mantlepiece.HERBERT: Please don't misrepresent me... I like putting them ABOVE my mantlepiece.EDDIE (whispered to Cassie): Did he just say 'Golly'?CASSIE (in hysterics): Yes!GM: You know what, this session probably won't need the safe word because I don't think we're going to get that far.EDDIE: Cass, I would say you never need ter walk under mah mantlepiece, but I figure nobody's gonna believe that ain't an innuendo.EDDIE: Everybody hates pigeons. I've got a hat; that's a lot of area to get shit on.CASSIE: Tastes of pestilence.EDDIE: Yep. I surely hope I do not catch a fatal disease.(Partway through a surprisingly successful session)EDDIE OOC: Cass, when did you learn to roll dice?GM: Right, we'll start with non-botchy...EDDIE OOC: Raj is sufficiently versed in yoga for the double-buggery, but Herbert isn't.CASSIE OOC: ...Not sure if want.CASSIE OOC: I'm hurt, Eddie.EDDIE OOC: Talk to Carrie about that.CASSIE OOC: She can't mend a broken heart.(Carrie checks sheet)CARRIE OOC: No, that's true.HERBERT: Is it that sort of moaning or the other sort?CASSIE: That is not helpful.CASSIE [pointing at Charlotte]: YOOU! You finally hit puberty!EDDIE OOC: I HAVE NO INTEREST IN A BODY ONCE IT'S DEAD! I have to correct this misapprehension every session and frankly I find it deadist!HERBERT: That's only mildly worse.EDDIE: Worse?HERBERT: Or better. I knew it had to be one of the two.EDDIE OOC [on eating Herbet]: Waste not, want not.CASSIE OOC: What are you wastin'?EDDIE: Right. That's good. It's not an evil demon-possessed squirrel.CASSIE: That's... good to know, Eddie.GM: There were totally dicks involved in that dream last night!CASSIE: Eddie, I fully rescind anythin' I said about not eatin' this man. Use your own judgement.GM: Everyone, Herbert has just refrained from saying something stupid. Twice.HERBERT: I'm improving!(the rest of the party is applying horrible gunk to drive mosquitos away)EDDIE: Best day to be an undead abomination in ages.CARRIE: I coulda stayed home and married a nice young boy who worked at the laundry.EDDIE: Carrie, remember what happened to the laundry.EDDIE: A squirrel with flaps of skin under its arms.GM: Mm-hmm.EDDIE: It's skin or somethin' else's? (off Cassie's look) What? It's a valid question.CARRIE OOC: Eddie has word of the day toilet paper.GM: HE DOESN'T POO!CASSIE OOC: Are we really doing toilet paper now? Aren't dick jokes more of our thing?CASSIE OOC: Is a big puppy. Is covered in fur! ^_^CASSIE (singing): If you're happy being swallowed clap your hands...HERBERT: It would be so much easier if we had an aircraft.CASSIE: Well, get building one, Herbert.EDDIE OOC: Goddammit, Heroic disadvantage!GM: Something parts the water near your head.EDDIE OOC: Does the crocodile react?GM: It parts its mouth a little wider.EDDIE OOC: Sweet, sweet cover from fire!CHARLOTTE OOC: I'm going to join Carrie on the land.CASSIE OOC: You've lost another daddy.CARRIE OOC: I try to push them off with my mighty 1d4 Strength.EDDIE: I'd help, but I'm trying to be eaten by a crocodile. (beat) Best excuse ever.CASSIE OOC: We're in a hentai! Well, you're in a hentai. I'm in a crocodile.CASSIE OOC: I can probably put that on the Internet with no repercussions whatsoever... Don't quote that. Or that either.EDDIE OOC: Let's sing the Drowning Song!EDDIE: We're safe! No other crocodile is going to eat us while we're in here.CASSIE: I'm stabbing it in the inner balls. Why is it not dead?CASSIE: That's called a libido.CARRIE: I don't have one of those.CASSIE: Everyone has one of those.CARRIE: They took it out when I became a Buddhist.EDDIE OOC: Why is is that whenever we have a serious dramatic scene, one or both of us can't stop laughing?GM: Herbert appears to be skilfully drowning.CASSIE (sings): I'm in a crocodile... and I'm OK... I'm in a crocodile... and I'm feelin'... blue... I'm on four wind...CASSIE: This is the best day ever.CASSIE OOC: I'm not drowning. I'm suffocating, it's entirely different.CASSIE OOC: Why are we not fighting naked people instead? Naked people have no armour!GM: Herbert, something terrifying is heading in your direction.EDDIE: Hello!HERBERT OOC: For someone who professes to despise puns-CASSIE OOC: No, I hate YOUR puns!GM: Just sit right there while I do Charlotte.GM: You can leave now.CASSIE OOC: Ha!(door doesn't open)GM: Panic makes it harder.