The cast-Carrie: Crazy squirrel BuddhistCassie: Crazy government agent.Charlotte: Crazy teenager.Eddie: Crazy zombieHerbert: Crazy British hunter.and new npc Saul: Crazy old cootGM: Anyway, you were judging her.CARRIE OOC: Yes, I was.CARRIE OOC: Ah'm a thquirl! Ahmma eat your ahballs! When Ah grow up, Ah'm gonna breathe fahr!EDDIE: Charlotte! We got zombies to kill!CHARLOTTE: Awww...CARRIE: I understand the theory, I just don't know what a rag is.HERBERT: You were talkin' about those people, the, umm...GM as NPC: The ones who move around?HERBERT: Yes, where are they?GM as NPC: ...They move around?EDDIE: So if someone sucks your face you're gonna get 'em off?CHARLOTTE: NO!CARRIE: I fixed it.CASSIE: You did?CARRIE: Well, Buddha fixed it.CHARLOTTE: What for?EDDIE: FOR HEAVIN' YOUR BOSOM!CARRIE: A reference to heathen boo-zooms?CARRIE: This is a thing that attracts young men.CHARLOTTE: Why?EDDIE: Never you mind, you're too young.EDDIE OOC: Who were you sayin' wants the bootay?HERBERT: Who's responsible?CASSIE: Someone who can raise the dead and write bad love poetry.EDDIE: We're lookin' for a teenage nec-ro-mancer.CARRIE: I don't think I can do it to more than one zombie. So, y'know, your guns are still good. But one on one it's less messy.GM: You mean you don't want to watch monkey on pensioner combat to the death?(EDDIE imitates a machine gun)EDDIE OCC: Buddhabuddhabuddhabuddha...CHARLOTTE: I don't want to talk about this with her. She walked out on the conversation last time.CARRIE: I have a broad theoretical knowledge.CASSIE OOC: She sees me as the daddy.CARRIE OOC: I hate you.CARRIE: I'm taking her to the whorehouse and saying “Teach her the trade.”HERBERT: I know quite a bit about women.CASSIE: You do?CARRIE: HOW?EDDIE OOC: Weirdly erotic dream... or death? Weirdly erotic dream... or death?(stealth Eddie)EDDIE OOC: sneak, sneak, sneak, KABOOM!GM: There's a high-pitched squeal.EDDIE: Right, that's go time!(Eddie unleashes both barrels of a shotgun at 3am).EDDIE: Sorry, did I wake you?EDDIE OOC: Well, you have to bear in mind that Cassie is more likely to roll more damage and kill a child than she is to have her gun malfunction.CASSIE OOC: You always have to bring that up, don't you?EDDIE OOC: I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT BABY!EDDIE: You tell us what to burn down!CASSIE: WE ARE NOT BURNING ANYTHING DOWN!EDDIE: Well, not right now, we're in a waterlogged swamp!(Cassie flails in rage)GM: Cassie, could you give me a Cognition roll, please?CASSIE OOC: No. (After rolling more than enough to pass a check, Cassie needs time to add up the numbers)CASSIE: Shut up, I don't normally get to count that high!CASSIE OOC: Purdy mum's face in drain is what I heard.EDDIE OOC: One day you may need to be in the Mile High Club. They have a secret service.GM: Finish eating, Herbert. Put it in your mouth.CARRIE: I don't wanna have a feel.CARRIE OOC: I crawl to Eddie.(Cassie starts giggling.)CHARLOTTE OOC: You pervert.EDDIE: You any good with a gun?SAUL: Nope.EDDIE: Then we ain't gonna give you one. No offence.CARRIE OOC (with mouth full of chewy confectionery): We're like edumacated!CASSIE OOC: Why is it every time I pass my nightmares roll I get woken up anyway?GM: That reminds me, didn't you just go to sleep?CASSIE OOC: Aaaargh...(after failing a roll to stay awake)CASSIE OOC: I assume I'm on a minus one?GM: No, you got a good night's sleep.CASSIE OOC: Oh... yeah. Forgotten what that felt like.GM: What IS Cassie's dress size?EDDIE OOC: According to Herbert, it went up recently?GM: Herbert, when I've specified these dresses enhance the curves, do NOT call them Perks!(on lingerie)CARRIE: What does it do?EDDIE: It puts a smile on men's faces.EDDIE: Is someone having an all-undead gangbang in the middle of the swamp, Saul?SAUL: Maybe, actually. What's an undead?EDDIE: There's an acceptable sort of undead?CASSIE: Well, I haven't shot you yet.CARRIE: Why not?EDDIE: Because she'd miss and shoot a kid.CHARLOTTE: Dibs not it.GM: Does this mean Carrie isn't an adult?EDDIE OOC: She's a Buddhist.GM: The squirrel fights to avoid this lathering up.CARRIE (as squirrel) OOC: Why do you hate me?EDDIE: Why are you wishing vengeance against this squirrel?HERBERT: No reason.CASSIE (to Eddie): Well, now you have a top hat. Let's all follow the zombie and ignore that.(vampires are mentioned)EDDIE OOC: Do you WANT the sparkly penis?CASSIE OOC: I don't know, I've never had a sparkly penis!CARRIE: I have something to help you sleep, if you want.CHARLOTTE: Does it stop you dreaming?CARRIE: It might make it harder for you to wake up.HERBERT OOC: It's too early for disco.GM: So you're taking Charlotte in her nightgown and slinging her over Eddie's shoulder?CARRIE: We can dress her.EDDIE: Oh, that's not creepier.GM: Guys, I've got Cassie and Herbert knelt down here wanting to see a sparkly penis.CARRIE OOC: No, wait, if I slept last night do I not have my not sleeping penalty?EDDIE: Apparently we're not allowed to use fire anymore.HERBERT: Why?CASSIE: Because.HERBERT: That's not an answer.EDDIE: Herbert, this isn't the time.CHARLOTTE OOC: Now, if you WANT a slap on the ass...GM as NPC: ...due to an unfortunate misunderstanding...CARRIE: What was the misunderstanding? (OOC) I activate Confession.HERBERT OOC: I'm not going to shoot Carrie. She'd glare at meCASSIE OOC: I'm a wabbit!CASSIE: So are we shooting this guy or not?EDDIE: YES!CARRIE: No!EDDIE: He's a necromancer!CARRIE: But he's human and alive!EDDIE: HEY!CASSIE: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE BUDDHIST GOES IN!(at the end of a countdown)VILLAIN: One...HERBERT: I have a clear shot.EDDIE: Go.HERBERT: Should I-EDDIE: WEHAVEACOUNTOFONE!